Memory of A Will
by RazzldHearts
Summary: A peak at what it's like being a "Superior of the In-Between". What happens when something triggers a memory of the person Xemnas is so desperate to keep under control? Part of Road to Dawn story. Rated for mild language. One-shot.


**Part of RtD: Road to Dawn. This takes place immediately after chapter 6. Enjoy and don't be afraid of that "Post review" button! :D**

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 **Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts (the franchise or the heart of all worlds).**

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In a secluded part of The World That Never Was, a dark portal opened, and Xemnas stumbled out with a pained gasp. His gloved hand clutched at the slick side of a tall building while his other clutched the fabric covering his chest. A deep, unsettling pain filled the place where his heart would have been if he were human.

"Damn…I thought I was rid of these pointless emotions and memories." He growled, resting his head against the cold surface next to his hand. His eyes closed as another bolt of pain shot through his body and he gritted his teeth. It probably didn't help that he experimented with an attack that drained nearly every ounce of energy he had.

It was that damn girl- the Witch's apprentice. Even with her sight momentarily hindered, her deep hazel eyes seemed to see so much. Whether it registered with her or not, her eyes had bore right through him, finding something he thought he had boxed away in the deepest, darkest part of his mind. Those eyes that saw so much, and that messy, dirtied red hair. He knew it.

Or at least, someone he had once been knew it. Ansem had warned him not to come in contact with too many things relating to that person's past- it would give that man strength. Ansem had deliberately made it difficult for Xemnas to recall those memories of his former life, specifically because it could cause him to lose control of _that man._

He had been prepared when he first met Roxas, looking like the boy in The Room of Waking, and for every meeting since. He had steeled himself before the battle he'd had just moments ago, where he fought against a keyblade. But he was not prepared for the girl. He had never even been informed that there may be another girl, aside from Aqua, to worry about. Was it really possible Ansem, or more specifically _Xehanort,_ hadn't known of her?

Several small shocks of pain rocketed through his body again and before he could stop himself, he pulled his head back and slammed it hard back into the wall. He panted as the girl's face seemed to suddenly grow younger, and hair shorten to around her ears. _Melody…_

 _"You were trying to catch a star?!" A disbelieving voice, so familiar, echoed around his head. And the girl- now a small child- frowned up at him, eyes full of confusion._

"Damn you! Go…Away…" Xemnas ground out as the flicker of a memory filled his mind and poured into his body. He could practically feel the warmth of her small shoulder burning his hand. "Go away…!" He growled louder as the form of a young man took shape in his mind. Energy swirled around Xemnas as he fought back the stubborn will of a man from so many years ago.

Long moments of struggling and finally, the man's form disappeared from his mind. However, the pain in his chest would not lessen. "Damn you, Terra…" He hissed and took a step back from the wall. He forced his body to move out of the alley and into the deserted street- perhaps moving around would help…

But with each step he took, Xemnas knew the pain would not go away, not until he could return to the Chamber of Repose. There, he would stuff the man back into the prison and bury it even deeper in his mind. He did _not_ need this happening again. Not when they had finally obtained a member with a keyblade. Not when creating a Kingdom Hearts was finally within reach.

Xemnas glanced to his side, catching sight of his reflection in the dark glass of a closed store. He smiled bitterly, seeing one of his eyes was now a deep, royal blue and a streak of brown fell in front of his face- a stark contrast to the otherwise gray-silver hair.

"'Superior of the In-Between', huh?" He said with a dark chuckle. He pulled his hood back up and began slowly walking again, the white castle floating on the edge of the city looming over him.

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 **Thank you all! Hope you liked it!**


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